It's that time of year again and I'm afraid I'm coming out of the closet to say Halloween is not my favourite time. The pumpkin lanterns and the arched cats in shop windows with witches' hats are fun. What I don't like is that parents are emotionally blackmailed into buying elaborate costumes for their offspring for the purpose of demanding sweets with menaces from complete strangers at their own front door!
I hate the gimme-gimme aspect, and the fact they are rarely polite - even with Mum or Dad hovering in the background, most don't even bother to say "trick or treat," but just reach out to dip their mucky little mitts into a bowl of sweets I felt compelled to buy for this express purpose!
They aren't happy with a few either, these kids have buckets to fill! - in a nation with a serious obesity problem where the Government is spending public money on viral TV advertising!
And some of them aren't kids, they have real facial hair and a can of lager in their back pocket. Their hands are so big, they grab five times what the little kids take and have no shame about it.
At least I can console myself with the image of the little dears throwing up in the back of Dad's BMW on the way home, only to stuff themselves with their booty all over again until they have enough refined sugar and E numbers crashing through their systems to bring on a permanent personality change.
The very worst thing about Halloween, is, every year I promise I'm not going to eat the left over sweets - and I always do!!
Spoilsport? Maybe, probably, definitely, and before you ask - yes of course my kids went 'Trick or Treating'. What do you think they were - deprived?